Group Facilitators – practice the art of letting go.

In life there are certainly times we have to learn to “let go”- of things, people, or circumstances. Take a search through a local library and you will find numerous books giving advice on how to “let go” on many topics and issues; grief, relationships, medical circumstances, stress, fears, addictions and phobias. For some, “letting go” signifies a time of healing, personal change, and transformative growth. 

Facilitators, group leaders and instructors benefit greatly from practicing the art of letting go. Part and parcel of letting go, however, is making sure that we capture and internalize the lessons.

We were recently presenting two workshops, back to back. The first one was to our peers (fellow Early Years Community Developers). We were excited to share our thinking and our approach (highly grounded in adult learning principles) by engaging participants in constructing knowledge. This philosophy results in highly interactive Village Raising workshops.  As we tapped into the energy in the room, we perceived a participant or two as being un-engaged with the information and activities we were presenting. On this particular day (for a slew of reasons) it was enough to take us completely off our game. We allowed our perceptions to change our workshop flow and timing, sap our enthusiasm and question ourselves. As veterans of group facilitation, we are aware of many different ways to react when folks are un-engaged, but somehow being with our peers on this day, changed our response. We left the first workshop feeling we had not fully played to our strengths or provided the space for optimum connection and Village Raising…big time bummer. So what are two group facilitators to do? Blame others and get defensive? Curl up in the fetal position? Or…practice that art of letting go? We chose the latter.

Luckily we had an evening between the first and second workshops. In that time, we worked hard at identifying what happened. We discovered, through participant evaluations, that the workshop was still highly regarded by the majority of people. In order to learn, grow and then build our confidence back – we employed strategies of letting go.

We...

• Accepted that it is impossible to meet everyone’s expectations (the 10/80/10 principle) and that people engage in different ways.
• Readjusted our timing and content to allow us to achieve a higher level of energy and participation sooner in the workshop.
• Celebrated the positive evaluation comments and allowed those to inform our reflections and give us the foundation to build from. “We want to give more…(you insert here)”.
• Asked ourselves: How do we want to act that is consistent with our Village Raising vision? What really matters about this workshop/meeting? We re-confirmed our focus.
• Laughed and laughed and laughed. At ourselves, at our vulnerabilities and at life’s unexpected lessons.
• Allowed ourselves the time to process, learn and then “let it go”…

The following day we delivered essentially the same workshop to a group of people who were our “target” audience. It was a phenomenal day, filled with deep sharing, a-ha moments and positive energy. As co-facilitators we found our chemistry, rhythm and presence. Sure there were probably a couple of people that were less engaged than the masses – but we were able to avoid being derailed by them and continued on the right path of delivering a meaningful experience for the rest.

            

When life throws you a curve ball, pay attention, be open, learn from it and let go.

Village Raising Question:

What group “curve balls” can you more intently learn from… and then let go of?

Watch next week for tips from other authors that help prevent being derailed by group dynamics.